time is slipping away. i have been feeling numb. i am definitely in my stage of downtown. everything is gona change soon.
even i changed. not as loud, crazy, lame, unpredictable as i was. am i growing old? haha maybe just playing safe, cos i dont want so much drama in my life. i am enjoying the stability now.. but im getting tired of it.. but what bout it? it is all gona change once i land in newcastle.
it is as if i am in d scene where everyone is walking past me in the streets while i am just standing there, observing them silently...
stability. yeah, we yearn for them but i cant to seem balance both excitement n stability in life. yeah, someone did mention i am always playing the extreme card. what if i get bored easily, getting attached, doing the right thing, playing the responsible role. i dont want to suddenly explode all of a sudden and throw away everything i have .
yea, i dont trust people that much. never did. cant blame me. i cant be bothered this time of the year. yeah, i admit i am harsh. deal with it, alright.
i definitely need a change of scene, new air to breathe. going to the U.K would do me good. but i have to adapt, be independent, and BALANCE. studies and play. i wonder can i snag a first- class? will i have to throw all my playtime?
well, i know i have to shine once again. it is now or never in my final year. maybe i will find what i wanna do in my life. mayb i will come to terms who i am becoming. maybe i will understand my ever-changing behaviour every year. mayb my behaviour changes depending on my needs and priorities. or maybe we are jus growing up. Great, ... cos i HATE that word.
but who says growing up does not mean u dont have fun anymore?
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